electropanic

no barriers February 5, 2011

sometimes I wish i could just write and hope no one interprets it. It gets difficult at times. I need to vent it out someplace, but i dont know where! I’m wanting to burst out but still holding the crown down trying to control it…trying to decide of the moment i let it loose…trying to understand-to study whether that would be a good option.

You might have guessed it already. But if you are not as quick as i think you ought to be-THIS is one of those moments. I am still deciding whether to write and pour my heart out. Not that I dont have friends I trust or that I am unhappy with life lesser still am i hurt or depressed. I actually feel senseless-it is like emotions have deserted me. I still love you! more than ever! you know it if you are reading this. my life is wonderful! thanks!

But i believe it is our nature and interactions that have made us this way. That I am proven right multiple times when i refuse to let the crown come off is sad! really! It has only made easing my hand more difficult!

And so I decide to let it be this time as well. And let it die within me.

There are so many stories within me. I wish i could say all those things and document them for my future generations. But kids! you are not going to get the story of how i met your mother-or-how i made my life. because the universe is conspiring against it!